he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My life is pants optional.
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