my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
