Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
