I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There's always time for handjobs
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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