She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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