Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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