So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
