Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
