I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
