I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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