I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We need to get me chipped asap
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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