My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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