is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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