It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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