Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
