Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
