Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
