Got a toothbrush?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
there's paper in my vomit.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
