just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
