i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
