That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
