his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
