He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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