Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
