he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
