OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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