i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
