I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
