You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My bed smells like the plague
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
