My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
