There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
