I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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