You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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