I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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