Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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