guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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