1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
