her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
