you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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