god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
