i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
