youre lurking in front of me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
