my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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