Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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