I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
