I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
only you would photoshop your dick
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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