my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He shit in the fireplace
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
