You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
