Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
