you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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